It’s no secret to anyone that I struggle with mental health “hiccups”. Of course it is sad but I’m not alone and I know a lot of people who struggle the same way I do. I heard this song by Fun and identified with it, especially the lines:
I feel so all alone
No one’s gonna fix me when I’m broke
How do you cry with inanimate eyes?
You’re never gonna smile with the way that you’re wired
Because the majority of the time this is exactly what goes through my head. Why, even when things get really bad I can never cry. Why I feel numb to even the most horrible or wonderful events? It’s not that I never feel anything ever, I mean I laugh at jokes and can work up a really great angry fit. But sometimes I can’t feel the Red emotions as Taylor Swift calls them. The deep ones that really matter.
But the truth is, I’m not alone and I realize this. It’s taken quite a while to get to this point, to realize there are others out there who are depressed like me. There are others that wake up in the morning and just want to stare at the wall all day and not take the kids to school. Who need to take a break from blogging so they can concentrate on something else and then need to take a break from that thing because it overwhelmed or upset them and get back to the comfort of blogging.
Also it has been a long road for me to realize I have people in my life who really care about me and will catch me when I fall. Other than my great friend “the floor” I have a husband, a sister, a mother and father, 2 Erika’s, an Aimee, a Tracie and so many more. And while I sit and think about the line “You’re never gonna smile with the way that you’re wired” and laugh a little at how I’ve thought about this for so long before I even heard the song I try to remind myself that one day I will smile all the time. I’ll have silly fun with wind up souvenirs. I have two little boys that will make sure of it.
Go ahead and listen to the song and formulate your opinion on the lyrics.