First Love Leaves An Imprint On Your Heart.

First Love Leaves An Imprint On Your Heart

I’ve chosen Out On The Town by Fun. The lyrics fit the context of this post perfectly.

The other day I was browsing the Craigslist job section and came across an ad that caught my attention. When I saw that the CEO was looking for an Executive/Personal Assistant I immediately wrote him on Facebook and told him I wanted to be his Pepper Potts. Well, that is after I asked my husband if it would be okay. So Jeff, that is the CEO’s name, chatted back and we laughed and laughed. He was my first love and it probably wasn’t the message he expected to receive from me 20 years later.

Lee Allport and Jeff Douglass Homecoming Lake Brantley High School
First love, for most, probably happened in high school as it did for me. When it happens you will never forget the person because you’ve now shared with them a gift. It’s special and sweet, this love, like your first taste of chocolate or a fine wine. It doesn’t make following tastes less sweet, it simply leaves an imprint on your heart and reminds you never to settle for less than that first taste. Your first love acts as a measuring device forever reminding you of your worth.

“No, this trick won’t work… How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? ”
― Albert Einstein

I remember my first love as the first boy who ever made me laugh with abandon. Hair the color of sunset. Skin as pale as snow. The biggest smile I’d ever seen. Pure genius even if I would never admit that to him. Untapped ambition. My future filled with hopes and dreams. And finally and probably most important would be mutual feelings in the eyes looking back at me.

“Before we belonged to anyone else, we were each other’s.”
― Elizabeth Noble

Jeff Douglass and Lee Allport Prom Lake Brantley High School
However as with most young love stories ours came to an end. Some type of stereotypical high school angst destroying all of the future we’d planned for ourselves. Four long years suddenly felt like 30 when your teenage life is falling apart and your first love is slipping through your fingers. At 18 years old no one knows what they are truly doing and few first love stories turn into fairy tales.

“The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can ever end.”
― Benjamin Disraeli

And this is how it is all remembered 16 years later with every drop of emotion and grip on my heart fresh as if it were 1998. I don’t believe you recover from your first love, they forever hold a deed to that tiny imprint they left in your heart.

“That’s what happens with your first love. It carves a hole in the muscle and fiber, so that you have no choice but to wear it like a birthmark.”
― Rebecca Tsaros Dickson

What do you remember about your first love? Did the relationship end on a good note?

*For those of you like my mother who demanded closure from the first paragraph, Jeff decided I’m not exactly what he was looking for as an assistant and I respected his decision.*


  1. 1

    Awe. This is sicky sweet. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way about someone and I’ve been married 22 years. Don’t tell my husband. You have a way with words.


  2. 2

    I absolutely remember my first love and it went a bit like this. So glad you were able to put into words what I think about every day. It’s hard comparing every man I’ve dated including my husband to the one that got away. I love my husband, but I miss my first love and always wonder what might have been.


  3. 3
    ItWorksBarb79 says:

    That couldn’t have been sweeter. I’m crying over here. How lucky you are to have loved and been loved this much. But life changes and I’m sure you’ve both moved on in whatever way your paths have taken. But high school love does feel like the most important love doesn’t it? Full of hopes and promises of a future no one can get between. Until the college acceptance letters come along. LOL.

  4. 4

    Ugly cry all day. Seriously you should submit this to Huffington Post. Such a good piece. I too have first love issues. Don’t we all?

  5. 5

    Thank you to everyone who commented, this post meant a lot to me.

    Beth thank you and you crack me up.

    Jen you sound normal, don’t beat yourself up.

    Barb OMG LMAO I honestly can’t even remember what our college plan was. I know he wanted to go to MIT and I was in full support of that. I wasn’t going to college, or at least not University. Maybe I planned on following him? I know I certainly wasn’t holding him back. And I can’t imagine at the time we planned on being apart. Seriously can’t remember and I doubt I’ll talk to him again any time soon to find out. If by chance we cross paths I’ll be sure to ask. LOL

    Sandra you flatter me. Thank you. This post did mean so much. I considered submitting it to Huffpo but in respect of his privacy have decided against it.

  6. 6
    Cyndy Hughes says:

    Yes, you captured it perfectly – first love is exactly like that. I’m still friends with my first love because even though the way it all ended was so incredibly painful, after 20 years, the hurt is long gone. What I’m left with now is the soft, comforting memory that for a time, nothing else existed in the world but us. It’s kind of like watching my kids believe in Santa. They’ll eventually know the truth and while they’ll be disappointed that it wasn’t the perfection that they imagined, they’ll also remember the wonder and the magic of it all.

    PS. I sent this to my ex and he wholeheartedly agreed with your description as well :)

    • 7

      That is so touching. I am honored you sent my story to your ex and he appreciated it so much. I’m not sure if my ex appreciated it as much as yours did. LOL


  7. 8
    Auntie Erika says:

    Your first love story was truly unique and special. 4 years is an eternity at that age and so much of who you become is because of that one relationship and the grip it had. It just changes you. My stories weren’t quite as gripping but it is always fun to remember how differently we each love at different phases in life. I remember the time when I didn’t have as much going on and those first loves got so much attention and time. Now to figure out how to bring some of that back into kids, ballet practice, cooking dinner, laundry folding, full workday, PTA meeting kinda days. It’s so not the same…

    • 9

      It’s so meaningful to have someone who was basically there comment on this. I know you weren’t really as involved in our lives in high school but you were around a bit and I know you remember Jeff. The other ginger. LOL.

      I never really thought about how relationships at that age received all of our time in comparison to now. I guess that is why they seem magical. Because they were actually all consuming. If you actually went back to that time they probably weren’t as mesmerizing as we remember. We’re simply romanticizing them.

      Maybe we do just need to figure out how to put that type of work into our current relationships. Even though we have all this other stuff on our plate and all these other responsibilities our marriage is what holds our lives together.


  8. 10

    This is obviously a piece from the bottom of your heart. It’s special and probably once in a lifetime that you had this relationshp however I think you will find that the past is best left in the past. From here on out put one foot in front of the other one and don’t look back. It’s not beneficial for anyone.

  9. 11

    I wanted to come back here and add an update: This post was meant to be a nostalgic look at first love. It was so easy for me to write, the words flowed freely from my memories. Old feelings came to the front of my mind and were so warm, like my favorite blanket. But I learned a valuable lesson. You can’t relive the past. People change and sometimes you will not be happy with the way that change has taken place. A very smart woman once told me:

    “There is nothing harder on the heart than to realize someone you love simply doesn’t place as much value on the relationship.”

    The past is best left in the past.

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